Ain't It The Truth

Received via e-mail: (author unknown)

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD if you are real then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him, knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The Marine calmly replied, "GOD was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So He sent me." The classroom erupted in cheers.

Nachas Post

My son Flash and his teammates kicked ass this week in their first College Bowl meet, defeating four other yeshiva high schools and answering questions that no one else knew. (Flash nailed his first question: Who invented basketball? Apparently, everyone knows who supposedly invented baseball- Abner Doubleday- but honestly, who on earth knows who invented basketball?! Moreover, who on earth cares? Well, apparently Flash does.)
I was so glad that he had fun at the meet. It took me more than two years to convince him to join an extracurricular activity (he's really smart, but really lazy). Now he's talking about joining the varsity basketball team next year. It's nice to see him taking risks for a change.

Now, I am NOT a big fan of Sarah Palin. I was so disappointed and disgusted by the way that she blew her chance to be the first female VP by repeatedly displaying ignorance, arrogance, and selfishness during the presidential campaign. I think that she has proven herself to be a political joke, and is no longer worthy of our attention and respect.

BUT...

For Newsweek to choose THIS picture of her for their cover this week is inappropriate, humiliating, and blatantly sexist. Plenty of male politicians have proven themselves to be jokes as well, but I have never seen a half-clothed "sexy" picture of any of them on the cover of a national newsmagazine. Sarah Palin posed for this picture for an issue of "Runners World" magazine. In that context, this picture would be appropriate. But not for Newsweek.

"Tis The Season... For A Swine Flu Shot"

My favorite line: "They're little petri dishes there, sitting on our laps"

Sharing The Love

Material Maidel has very kindly invited me to join her team at Kosher Cuisine. Click on over there to see my first (and may I say, brilliant) birthday party post.

On Veteran's Day

Veterans of Foreign Wars National Honor Guard wait for Veterans Day ceremony to begin earlier today at Arlington National cemetery in Virginia.
(photo from MSNBC.com)

There is no way to adequately thank the men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces who safeguard our country and our liberty. We can, however, add them to our prayers in the hope that God will keep them safe and grant them success. We owe them at least that much.

Chick Clicks

A few links that may be of particular interest to the females out there (although the men are of course free to click as well):

Hadassah is having a giveaway for a free $25 box of surprise Hair Accessories from CoverYourHair.com. To enter, click on over to Hadassah's blog.
Leora has posted a list of delicious soups that you may want to try.
Conversations in Klal brings up some important things to think about before leaving your children with a babysitter.
New mom Lizrael is discovering how difficult it is to juggle her job and her baby at the same time.
Webgirl writes honestly about the pain of dealing with infertility.

Hey Lady! Keep Your Pants On!

Imagine being able to try on clothes without having to undress at all:



How much fun would that be?!

Happy Day, Sad Day

I was blessed this afternoon with a visit from my beautiful niece and her new baby boy. He's only two months old, and so sweet and happy and alert. What a pleasure it was to hold him and rock him to sleep and make funny noises at him. I even got to sing the national anthem to him (an old trick that I discovered years ago. Cranky babies find the Star Spangled Banner to be very soothing, if you sing it low and slow.) It's been so long since I've had a chance to play with a newborn. What a pleasure.

But then, after Shabbat, I got a phone call from my mother. She had flown to Los Angeles with her sister to be with their ailing brother. My mother hadn't seen her brother in a long time, and was shocked by how sick he is. The doctors have said that he has only days to live. My mother was sobbing so hard she could barely choke out the words. There was nothing I could do to help from so far away, so I just held onto the phone, listening to her cry, and crying along with her. I was touched to see my youngest daughter staring at me with tears in her eyes. I was worried about my mother, and she was worried about hers.

I pray that my uncle will recover, but I know that is just not possible anymore. So all I can do now is hope that my mother and my aunt will get through this heartbreaking time together.

And The Parent Of The Year Award Goes To...

...this guy:

Learning How To Give A D'var Torah

Last week, the Rabbi of our shul asked my son Flash to deliver a short d'var torah on the Parsha during the seudah shlishi meal. (A d'var torah is a brief explanation and analysis of a character or event in the Bible.) Flash agreed, but he was nervous about it. (Perfectly understandable, I think. It's not easy for a 15 year old boy to stand up and speak in front of his Rabbi and thirty other men.) Trying to help, I showed him Ilana-Davita's parsha post and suggested that he use the question that she raises there as a starting point for developing his own d'var torah. He liked the idea, and sat down with an open chumash to begin writing it. After just a few minutes, he began asking me for help. I realized that this child, who has spent 11 years learning in yeshiva, had no idea how to construct a two minute d'var torah on his own. I ended up walking him step by step through the process.
Then today, I see that The Rebbetzin's Husband has posted about this very topic. He observes that "...many people have difficulty with this task; their knowledge, their sense of homiletic structure, or their available time may not be up to the task". He tells us that over the years, many people have come up to him to ask for help with developing a d'var torah. I'm sure that the majority of those people were adults and not adolescent boys.
And so I have to ask: Why on earth don't the boys' yeshivahs teach their students this basic skill? There is really no excuse for a smart, well educated boy like Flash to have such difficulty composing a two minute speech about the weekly parsha on his own. I remember how nervous he felt trying to put together a d'var torah for his Bar Mitzvah two years ago. (I ended up helping him then too, of course.) At the time, I assumed that it was a normal part of the general anxiety felt by Bar Mitzvah boys everywhere. But now I see that it is simply a skill that has not been taught to him, which is really unfortunate, because it is boys like him who are or should be the future leaders of our congregations.
I think that it would be a good idea for every yeshivah to implement a program in which 7th and 8th graders are taught how to research, construct, and deliver a short d'var torah. This can be done formally or informally, as part of the preparation for their Bar Mitzvahs. This skill should be reinforced in the high schools and in our local shuls, where boys can be given occasional opportunities to deliver divrei torah on Shabbos or at special events. If we encourage our sons to snap out of "passive spectator" mode and become active contributing members of our shuls at a young age, they are more likely to stick around as they get older.

(And what about our girls, you ask? That's a topic for another day.)

Exciting and Important Activities? Yeah, Right.

Because I haven't really posted at all this month, you would think that I've been oh-so-busy with all kinds of exciting and important activities. Well, you would be wrong. I'm a 41 year old cash-deprived mother with a low energy level and no car. I don't think I can even properly define the word "exciting" anymore.

So what's been keeping me so busy that I couldn't even find time to blog? Damned if I know. The days just seemed to run away from me a bit. I've been doing some reading (real books! real ones! like with pages and stuff!), cleaning out closets (always a guaranteed good time), and trying to cook healthier meals for my two older children (my little one continues to eat only carbs and cheese, no matter what I try to prepare for her). I also spent some time with two friends, one whom I haven't seen in a few months, and one whom I haven't seen at all since college who called me and wanted to reconnect.

Meanwhile, my house has become Teenage Central. My overly generous sister bought my kids Rock Band for X-Box, and my walls are ringing with screechy, off-key versions of "Eye of the Tiger" and some song about wearing your pajamas all day. Facebook, instant messaging, and ringing cellphones are our constant companions. Acne has made itself at home here, despite the use of four different topical skin treatments. And Supermangirl (not yet 11 years old) announced suddenly last week "Hey Mommy, guess what? I have hair growing out of my armpits!" (what a proud day that was!)

Also, Wonderwoman is turning 13 in a few days (I coulda sworn that she's been 13 for years already). Because she's in 8th grade, I'm back in "looking for a high school" mode. Unfortunately, her grades are rather problematic (diplomatic parent-speak for "lousy") and I can't be completely sure that she's going to get accepted into her first choice. So we have chosen 4 different schools to apply to, none of which are in Brooklyn. For the next 4 consecutive Sunday mornings we will be attending those schools' Open Houses for prospective students. Whoo-hoo!

I hope that you guys have been busy with the kinds of exciting and important activities that seem to elude me. I'll be coming 'round your blogs to check up on you. Don't disappoint me now!